


5 ways a boy will show you he loves you (and all the ways you can return the favour).

by jaeminspuzzle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Arguing, Basically, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insults, Kinda, Living Together, Lowercase, M/M, Oblivious Na Jaemin, Park Jisung (NCT) is Whipped, Park Jisung (NCT)-centric, Pining, Soft Na Jaemin, all 21 of them live in the same building and have zero boundaries, basically jisungs obvious, lapslock, save jisung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25904494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeminspuzzle/pseuds/jaeminspuzzle
Summary: Park Jisung has always been in love with Na JaeminNa Jaemin has a hard time noticingor5 ways Jisung is obvious about his feelings for Jaemin (+1 time Jaemin shows Jisung how he feels too.)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Zhong Chen Le, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Na Jaemin/Park Jisung
Comments: 12
Kudos: 217





	1. Chapter 1

1\. He lets you give him affection when nobody else does. (and he never lets anyone else do it either).

jaemin pouts as renjun pushes away his attempt to hug him yet again. he’s in an affectionate mood, needing the validation that only comes from the touch of his friends. 

presently, he was trying (and failing) to gain renjun's affection. just a simple cuddle, if even for a few seconds, he wasn't fussed. wasn't looking for kisses or anything drastic. just a quick little bit of cuddle time on the tattered worn couch of their shared apartment. only for a minute, or three hundred he didn't mind either way.

renjun was, unfortunately, not in the same mood. holding him away at arms length in case the boy did try and initiate cheek kisses, as he so often did. "jaemin, please, i'm tired." he scolds his roommate in vain as it only makes jaemin pout more and try to move closer still. 

"but renjunnie!" jaemin whines playfully, "i had an awful day of classes, and i need cuddles to feel better."

renjun had opted to simply ignore jaemin, trying to go back to reading his book while still avoiding the incoming cuddles. but after 5 minutes of struggle he finally sighs, "jaemin i need to read this so i can start my paper, can’t you go annoy jisung? he always likes your cuddles. well, he always lets you cuddle him at least."

something in the way the elder said it should have hit jaemin. the knowing, smug, sound of his tone should have suggested something in jaemin's brain but instead he just thought. 

he was right, of course, renjun often was. jisung did always let him cuddle. was always open for affection from the older. sure, he would groan, sigh, pout, generally just complain about it. puff out his cheeks in annoyance as jaemin kissed them over and over and demanded the younger kiss his cheeks too. 

yes he always complained, but he would never push him away. and if jaemin were a focused man he would think about that. reflect on it. and while jaemin was, at times, a focused man, he was presently only focused on his horrible day and his much needed cuddle. so he simply nods, not thinking about the tone of renjun’s voice, nor the implications of the truth he just told. 

"you're right." he huffs, shoving renjun's hands away from him lightly, "jisung’s better than you anyway." he gets up and marches to the apartment door, narrowly missing the "have fun, idiot," renjun throws out after him. 

he barrels down the hall to make his way to jisung and chenle's apartment. he thanks god, in his head of course, that they had all miraculously managed to get apartments in the same building. 

(jaemin suspects the reason why all 21 of them managed it was because mark had asked if there were apartments free for all of them when he, donghyuck and johnny moved in as the building had just opened and the old woman who owned the building had a tough time saying no to the unintentionally cute boy). 

(jaemin didn’t want to think about the fact she probably regretted letting them live there now.)

"where are you hurrying off to?" he almost misses jungwoo asks as he and yuta leave their own apartment.

"jisung." jaemin states, because honestly where else would he be going in this mood. but then he realises jungwoo doesn't know what mood he's in and adds "i had a bad day." 

jungwoo and yuta share a secret smirk and nod. "of course you are." yuta teases, "have fun." 

"but not too much!" jungwoo jokes, but it goes over jaemin's head. he simply nods and bids the two goodbye as he goes back to his mission of finding jisung. 

the older pair simply shake their heads and carry on to their trip to the grocery store. 

jaemin flings open jisung’s door as he arrives, whines out a pathetic, "jisungie" as he speeds into the living room. they all mostly leave their doors unlocked during the day (unless there's good reason) so that the neighbours, and close friend group, can come and go into each other's apartments as they please. 

they're all the only ones living across the two floors of the building anyway, so it's not like they have to worry about anyone but the landlady coming in.

the boy in question is in the middle of a game of mario kart against chenle, who sits in the lap of his boyfriend, jeno, who is in turn encouraging him to win. jisung looks slightly disgusted when jeno begins to press kisses to chenle's neck but otherwise stays focused on winning the game. 

he is undeterred when jaemin doesn't even wait for him to acknowledge his entrance before latching himself onto him. he partly restricts the movements of jisung's arms, making it hard for him to play. but he's not pushed away.

instead, jisung rolls his eyes with a shy smile as jeno steals a knowing glance in his direction, "nana, i'm playing a game." 

jaemin simply huffs again, "don't care. want cuddles." he buries his head into jisung's neck pressing himself close to jisung's arm and wrapping his arms tighter around him. he waits for jisung to finish.

the younger seems to sense this isn't a time to complain too much about the cuddles, because he simply tuts to himself playfully and continues playing, resting his head slightly against jaemin's.

jisung sighs as chenle's toad crosses the finish line just ahead of jisung's baby princess daisy, making the chinese boy the overall winner of the tournament they were playing. jisung huffs back at jaemin but strokes the arms secured around his middle softly. "you just made me lose." 

"m'sorry," jaemin mumbles back tiredly and jisung smiles, patting his arm.

"come on, let's go to my bed, okay? comfier there."

jaemin nods and releases jisung so they both can stand. he stands with his eyes closed slightly so he doesn't see chenle wiggle his eyebrows at jisung. nor does he see jisung throw his controller back at chenle with another famous jisung roll of the eyes.

as soon as they're both standing, jaemin wraps himself around jisung again and jeno can't help but laugh, "bad day, nana?" 

jaemin groans, stealing a glance at his best friend, who had chenle similarly bundled into his arms now the game was over. "the worst!" he complains, "my professors have been giving me shit all day." 

jeno smiles softly, "it'll be fine, nana, just an off day." 

jaemin nods. he feels jisung begin to move towards his room and offers his two friends a tired smile back as he begins to walk too. he didn't dare stop hugging jisung though. it was making him feel grounded. 

as was usually routine when jaemin got like this and everybody else passed him off to jisung, they clamber onto the younger's bed awkwardly. they splay out on the bed, a tangle of limbs, before correcting themselves so jaemin is lying on jisung's chest, one of jisung's arms securely around him and the other playing with his hair the way he likes. 

"so, what made your day so awful, hyung?" 

jaemin whines again, "it was just awful. one of those days that starts off bad because you woke up late and that starts a chain of bad things." 

"i hate those days." jisung hums.

"me too!" jaemin lifts his head so that he could look at jisung with wide eyes, "my professors kept piling on work, one of them called me stupid because i was struggling with his explanation, someone spilled hot coffee on my favourite jacket! it was just one thing after another." 

jisung hums again, stroking his hand through jaemin’s hair, "it was a bad day, hyung, it'll all be better tomorrow, you'll forget all about how horrible today went. and if not i'll go and punch every single one of your professors in the face." 

jaemin giggles a little, "no you won't."

"no i won't," jisung admits, because he never could lie to jaemin, "but i’m sure if i told jeno he would!" that makes jaemin laugh again. "but seriously nana you shouldn't listen to those stupid professors. they don't know you well enough, clearly, because if they did they would know you're smart, fun, caring and deserve a hell of a lot more credit than the world gives you. the world doesn't deserve someone like you." 

jaemin flashes jisung his signature wide, bright smile and moves himself up the younger's body so that their faces are close. if he weren't so wrapped up in the conversation he would've heard jisung's breath hitch. but instead he simply smiles wider and begins to press kisses all over jisung's face. "when- did- you- get- so- sweet-'' he coos between kisses.

jisung lets out a groan, pretending to be disgusted by the sudden affection, but makes no move to stop it. not at all. instead he lets jaemin continue to press kisses over his red face as he lets the arm he still holds around him begin to stroke the older's back. 

soon the kisses slow down and jaemin flips them so they are now lying on their sides facing each other. he pulls the younger one in close so they are cuddled together as tightly as possible.

jisung tries hard not to blush. 

they lay that way for ages, jisung's hand still tangled in jaemin’s hair, jaemin's hand gripping the back of jisung's shirt. after a while, breathing evens out and both fall asleep, this time both of them too wrapped up in dreams to notice chenle sneaking in to snap a picture of his friends. 

the chinese boy smirks. perfect blackmail material for jisung.

2\. He buys you gifts, even small ones, even if you don't realise they're from him.

look, jisung knows he’s whipped. it isn't a secret, not at all. not when everybody knows he would do anything for na jaemin. 

well, other than na jaemin.

honestly it makes things easier for jisung that jaemin was the most oblivious person he'd ever met. he didn't need the inevitable rejection. 

and since everyone knows and jaemin is clueless, he doesn't even try to hide all of the things he (totally doesn't) do for jaemin. 

that's probably why jeno doesn't even blink when jisung smashes through their apartment door with iced coffee and pastries in his hands. "jaemin up?" jisung asks, knowing the answer already. 

jeno just rolls his eyes from where he stands making his own coffee. "course not, you're safe." he says and jisung begins to put down the food and coffee in a nice position on the breakfast bar, right where jaemin could see it when he woke up. 

"perfect," he mumbles to himself and he grins. 

"you're ridiculous," jeno complains, "just tell him you like him already."

jisung snorts, "no thanks. don't tell him i left these for him." he doesn't wait for jeno's reply as he rushes back out of the apartment and across the hall to johnny, mark and haechan's place. 

jeno just shakes his head. the boy leaves jaemin breakfast once a week and jeno is still yet to tell on him.

when jaemin wakes up 5 minutes and sees his favourite breakfast coffee and some lovely food he smiles and hugs jeno, "did you leave me these?" he asks, even though the coffees had been a daily occurrence for months now and not once had it ever been jeno. 

jeno shakes his head, "was here when i got up," he lies, "must've been someone in another apartment, junnie slept at lucas' last night." 

jaemin frowns in thought as he sips at the drink, letting out a sigh of satisfaction at the taste. "strange, i wonder who it was… and why they would do it secretly?" 

"maybe they have a crush on you or something," jeno tries to hint, not even attempting subtlety. 

jaemin throws his head back and laughs, "don't be silly, none of our friends are crushing on me." 

jeno nearly punches jaemin in the head.

he probably would have if jaemin hadn't said the next words out of his mouth. "oh it must have been jaehyun!"

jeno tries not to let his jaw drop, "jaehyun?"

"yeah? i was complaining to him just yesterday that he doesn't spend enough time with me! this must be his way of apologising or something? how sweet!" 

"yeah…." jeno says, giving up on ever getting through to jaemin (though, to be fair, he wasn't really trying in the first place). 

jaemin suddenly hops up, "oh! i forgot i have a class! i'll have to remind myself to thank him later…" jaemin practically skips to the door, "bye nono! see you later!" he calls over his shoulder, completely missing jeno's very loud, very pain filled, sigh. 

(jaemin walks out of the apartment door, just as jisung is all but thrown out of haechan’s door and jaemin tilts his head curiously, "why'd they kick you out?"

jisung shrugs, "was being annoying, i have class anyway. walk you to campus?" jaemin nods, "where'd you get the coffee?"

"i think jaehyun got me it! isn't he just the sweetest hyung!"

jaemin misses the twitch in jisung's eye and the pained smile, "yeah, the sweetest.")

see, jaemin has a lot of bad days. it's common knowledge. he whines to anyone who will listen about his awful days. actually, even if they wouldn't listen he'd tell them anyway.

this was probably why he mostly sought out jisung. he didn't really know why, but he knew the boy never really turned him away. 

which brings him to his problem at present. 

he can’t find jisung. 

he's made his way to every single apartment on both floors and none of the other residents had seen him in hours. 

jaemin complains loudly as he reaches the last apartment only to find just kun and xiaojun making some dinner.

xiaojun rolls his eyes as he watches jaemin flop himself onto the sofa. "he's probably just in class or something bro, no need to get so moody." 

"jisung's last class ended three hours ago" jaemin whines, even louder, voice now muffled behind a pillow he was pressing into his face with frustration. 

kun snorts, "of course you have his schedule memorised." 

jaemin sits up slightly, hugging the pillow to his chest instead of his face so he could peer up at the older. "why do you say it like that?"

kun sighs and looks at xiaojun, who simply shakes his head. jaemin tilts his own head even more, curiosity peaked. "never mind."

"jisung is one of my best friends, of course i know his schedule?" jaemin says, "is that how you meant it?"

"yes!" xiaojun answers, if only to shut jaemin up, "now are you gonna whine while having dinner with us or are you just gonna sulk there?" he asks as he tries to figure out if he should make extra for jaemin. 

the boy in question shrugs, "not hungry, ate a big lunch." 

"you should eat 3 meals a day jaemin," kun scolds but the boy waves him off. 

"i’ll eat later, when jisungie comes home. i'm really not hungry yet."

the two olders give each other a look but go back to making their dinner while jaemin continues to complain about his day. 

and he does.

for forty five minutes.

until:

"hyungs?"

at this point, kun and xiaojun have almost finished eating their dinner, and jaemin has stopped complaining and is just downright rambling.

he hears the voice, though, and immediately freezes in his words and whips his head around. 

"have you guys seen jaemin? doyoung said he was- oh hi jaem!" jisung smiles, moving around the sofa to flop himself down next to jaemin. “what’s up?”

jaemin sighs overdramatically and wraps himself into jisung who jokingly tries to swat him away. “where have you been? i’ve been worried sick! your classes ended hours ago.”

jisung blushes, “yeah well i was doing something…”

“doing what? we were supposed to watch movies today.” 

jisung rolls his eyes and grabs his backpack from where he had unceremoniously dumped it on the floor. “i was getting you a present actually. 

(“can’t they do this in one of their own apartments”, xiaojun asks.)

“a present?!” jaemin smiles wider than he had all day and sits up to smile at jisung, “you didn’t need to- why did you get me a present?”

(kun sighs, “i don’t think they realise they’re not in their own apartments.”)

jisung pulls out the thing he had skipped his last class to go and get from a city an entire hour train ride away. it's a limited edition antique polaroid camera, a large one with a leather brown strap to secure around your neck that was, supposedly, really hard to get. jaemin had been talking about trying to buy it for a while. “it’s probably not the one you wanted but…” 

“it is!” jaemin takes the camera and holds it to his chest with a soft smile, tilting his head at jisung and staring at him with slightly wide eyes, "i was talking about this months ago, how did you remember?"

"i've uh…" jisung scratches the back of his head sheepishly, ignoring the snorts across the room where kun and xiaojun were quite obviously laughing at how whipped he was, "i've been looking for it online since then and i finally found one yesterday, an hour away from here by train."

"an hour?" jaemin hugs it closer. "jisung you really didn't need to do this." 

jisung shrugs with a smile, "think of it as an early birthday present…"

"...i gave you a hug for your birthday" 

"you'll have to do better next year then," jisung teases, making jaemin shove at his shoulder in mock anger before pulling him into a hug, the camera (carefully) squished between them. 

"seriously, thank you though." 

jisung smiles and wraps his arms around the older to return the embrace, pointedly ignoring the stares he could feel coming from the two older boys in the room. 

they stay in the hold for a few moments before jaemin pulls away. he chooses instead to grip jisung's hand. "come on sungie, we've got to find some good lighting to check if it works well." 

and just like that, jisung is whisked away from kun's apartment. not even given a chance to say no. not that he would have anyway. 

(kun lets out an overdrawn sigh as soon as they've left and xiaojun just nods in whole hearted agreement. 

"that kid needs to grow some balls and ask jaemin out, honestly, what the fuck was that?"

"i know, kun-ge, i know.")

3\. He knows exactly how to help you when you're sad.

it's not often that one of the boys hears bad news. it really isn't. most of the time they're passing classes, doing well at their jobs and generally doing well in their love lives.

they never really have a reason to be sad. 

jaemin isn't an exception. in all honesty, he’s extremely happy with where his life is at present. happy with his amazing friends, loving family, the occasional dates he goes on with peers who ask him out because he's too polite to say no.

he loves where he is. loves his little room in his little apartment with jeno and renjun. full of gadgets and computers and, of course, an array of cameras. loves that he can live in the same building as all his friends and feels so blessed to have so many.

but most of all, he loves his family. family means so much to jaemin, its well known to everybody. but he especially loves his grandfather. jaemin often joked that as a child his grandfather was his best friend. it's common knowledge. especially to his friends at seaview apartment complex.

(he still doesn't know why it's called that when the only view he has outside his window is… more buildings.)

so when jaemin gets the phone call that his grandfather is sick, the residents know he's going to be so upset. but they don't realise in what way. 

when he hears his mother say it's bad. hears her say his grandfather isn't going to get better. jaemin's heart sinks. 

he drops his phone. 

he doesn't speak. can vaguely hear taeyong taking over the call and finding out what happened. he can feel someone touching his arm but he doesn't know who. he doesn't even realise he's crying until a hand swipes away the tears on his cheeks. 

he just stares. 

then he hears jisung, just a small voice in the middle of the loud noise in his head. "jaemin…" 

jaemin snaps out of it. slaps away any hand that was reaching to touch him and runs. he knows exactly where he wants to go and he knows he wants to go there alone.

when jaemin leaves, he leaves silence in his wake. it had been a rare time that all 21 friends had finally had time to hang out together and now nobody knew what to say. they didn't even know what happened but they knew they needed to find jaemin.

donghyuck looks a little bit tearful himself when he turns to taeyong, "hyung what happened?" 

"jaemin's…" the older sighed, "jaemin's grandfather has taken very ill, his mum said he only has a couple of days…" 

"no…" jaehyun runs a hand through his hair, "jaemin loves his grandpa, this… this isn't good." 

"obviously," doyoung rolls his eyes. "this is serious, did you see jaemin just now? he was out of it! he could be anywhere." 

"i know where he is." jisung says. 

renjun and jeno share a look and renjun places a hand on Jisung's shoulder. "sung, i know you care about him but you saw what he looked like, he's not in the right mind, wherever you think he went, you could be wrong…" 

"i know he's there." jisung says seriously, "i'm like, 95% sure. you guys can still look for him nearby, but i'm pretty sure i'm right."

chenle nods, moving to his best friend's side. "we all know how jisung feels about him, if he thinks he knows he wouldn't lie. i say we let him go while the rest of us split up to look elsewhere, just in case." 

taeyong hums, studies jisung's face for a moment. it stays serious. he nods, "okay jisung, i'll drive you wherever you need to go. everyone else split up and look around local areas, anywhere jaemin like to go." 

they don't wait for the noises of affirmation coming from the rest of their friends. instead, jisung and taeyong simply ran out of the apartment. 

nobody even bothers to ask when jisung grabs some bread on the way out.

jaemin sighs as he steps out of the cab he tracked down after 20 minutes of aimless running. 

he's at his grandfather's favourite spot. a place he used to be taken to three times a week as a child. 

it's been a while since he was last here. 

in fact the last time he was here, jisung and chenle had tagged along and met his grandfather. jaemin had been so happy. 

jaemin all but collapses on his grandfather's favourite bench. he's exhausted suddenly. the emotional toll of the news finally hitting him all at once. a part of him just wants to go to bed and stay there forever. 

but forever seems an awfully long time. 

he stares out at the lake his grandfather used to take him for walks around. where his grandfather used to religiously feed the ducks every friday. jaemin blinks back tears. 

stupid ducks. used to make his grandfather so happy. 

he doesn't know how long he's there for, just staring at the soft expanse of the lake. watching the moonlight ripple on the uneven water. 

he does know that he's not alone anymore, though he isn't sure when jisung had arrived either. he just… suddenly felt aware of his presence. and in typical jisung fashion, he's waiting for jaemin to say the first words. 

for once jaemin doesn't know what to say. 

he lets his tears fall and he bathes in the warmth he can feel in jisung's presence. the boy isn't even doing anything. just has a soothing hand pressed to the small of his back and jaemin can vaguely feel his head on his shoulder through the numbness that has spread over his body. 

no. jisung doesn't say anything. he lets his actions speak for him. uses the hand not rubbing circles into jaemin’s back to throw bread out to the ducks. 

jaemin feels himself reach out for his own slice, feels himself tear up the pieces and throw them. he doesn't remember deciding to do this, but he lets his arms throw them anyway. 

it's like his mind isn't caught up to his body. 

jisung sighs softly beside him, "hyung?" 

jaemin hums. he doesn't trust his own voice. 

"i don't know what to say. usually i say it's going to be okay, but that doesn't really fit in this situation does it? and asking if you're okay just seems stupid because clearly you aren't. so i just- hyung, do you need anything?" 

jaemin offers jisung a small smile that jisung knows he doesn't mean. he doesn't look at him though, just throws another piece of bread. "i think you know me more than i know myself, sungie." he throws another piece of bread but it doesn't even reach the ducks. "what do you think i need?" 

jisung stays silent for a few moments, contemplating the question. he watches as jaemin continues to feed the ducks, getting harsher with his throws the longer jisung watches. he doesn't mean to though, jisung can see that jaemin is barely recognising his own motions.

jisung reaches out and grabs jaemin's hand. 

he knows what jaemin needs. jaemin needs something to ground him, to keep him out of his head and in the present. 

and the best way to get jaemin's attention is through touch. 

jaemin freezes at the touch, blinks as though suddenly realising where he is. his body tenses as he hears jisung begin to speak

"i'm not a doctor," jisung says softly, "i can't tell you the ins and outs of your grandfather's illness, the reasons why this is happening. i can't help you in any way but hold your hand through it all. i know it's not much but it's the only way i can show you i'm here, and i will be for as long as you need me, okay?" 

jaemin doesn't move for a long few seconds before squeezing jisung’s hand softly in a silent 'thank you'. 

the tension in his body dissolves as his shoulders slacken and he lets his body curl into jisung’s side. the younger kisses his forehead sweetly as jaemin begins to cry again. 

"i don't know how life is going to work without him." jaemin admits

jisung brushes a hand through his hair. "i know." he says, because he really does, "but we'll work it out together." 

at the end of the street taeyong watches the scene from the hood of his car, not knowing what they're saying but knowing that jisung must have been successful in helping his love interest feel the slightest bit better. 

he texts the others, lets them know they have jaemin and everything is just fine, then lets out a sigh as he realises he's got to wait for the two to be ready to go home.

(and when jisung sleeps in jaemin's bed that night, and the night after that, and the night after that, nobody mentions it. they don't bring it up even long after jaemin's grandfather does pass away and jisung is there to wipe away jaemin's tears. 

they don't mention, even months later, that there really is no reason for them to alternate rooms they sleep in so they can cuddle together at night, because honestly it's become expected by everyone that they would.)

4\. He defends you in an argument, even if you're in the wrong.

it was bad. 

it was so so bad, jisung didn't want to admit it. 

jaemin was rarely one to argue with people, and when he did they usually deserved it. jaemin was a sweet guy, it took a lot to get him angry. but since his grandfather died, he'd been a little moody, everyone had seen it. 

and yeah, it was sad, but it really wasn't an excuse for him to act like a dick. 

jisung can admit he was thrown off the first time jaemin snapped at him. he sulked for a whole hour before jaemin came to apologise with his usual affectionate kisses and cuddles. 

surprisingly, the one person nobody expected to react to jaemin's mood was the person who jaemin fought with the most. 

having been jaemin’s best friend basically since the younger was born, jeno had an infinite amount of patience for his antics, good or bad. 

however, jaemin's bad attitude soon got to even the most patient of all of them and jeno snapped back at him one day. 

it had been awful, jeno and jaemin, two people who had never once said one bad word to each other their whole lives were suddenly spitting accusations and insults at each other. 

"we get it, jaemin, you're upset, you've lost someone important to you but that doesn't give you an excuse to treat everyone like shit all the time." 

"treat everyone like shit? please. i haven't done anything wrong! it's not my fault you don't understand." 

"you're not the only person in the world to lose a grandparent jaemin." 

"i didn't say i was! did the last two brain cells you own struggle to come up with an insult or something?" 

"i'm sick of everyone treating you like you're glass! it's not cute anymore jaemin. the mood swings, the rudeness, it's just plain idiocy at this point." 

"why do i have to be nice all the time? i can't make one sarcastic comment every now and then?" 

"this isn't about you making one sarcastic comment every now and then, this is just you continuously being an asshole."

"oh fuck off, you overgrown man child"

"fucking baby, why don't you go cry to your mother"

"why don't you go fuck your boyfriend, only thing you're good for anyway." 

"at least i have a boyfriend and i'm not spending my college years stringing along some kid who clearly has a crush on me while pretending to be completely oblivious to his feelings." 

jaemin frowns then, because he really doesn't know what jeno's talking about, "what are you-"

jeno cuts him off. "everyone knows jaemin, how the fuck don't you? its so fucking obvious its actually painful to watch and you just let him wait on you hand and foot and act cute with him-"

"jeno that's enough" warns jisung but the older still continues.

"-but you give him nothing in return and it's so sickening! just do everyone a favour and admit it to yourself before he gives up." 

the slap that echoes through the room shocks everyone present. especially jaemin. jisung stands between the best friends, hands still paused midair right where it impacted jeno's cheek. 

the youngest stared at jeno with wide eyes. "i’m sorry hyung," he says hurriedly, "i didn't know how to get you to stop before you said something you regret." 

jeno just stares at jisung for a moment before nodding and looking at his feet. "I'm sorry, jisung, i got carried away." 

"it's not me you need to apologise to." jisung presses but jeno shakes his head. 

before the older can say anything he's pulled away by chenle and renjun, taking him to his room to calm down. 

jaemin avoids looking at jisung, although he's unsure why, and instead looks at yangyang, taeil, johnny, haechan and mark who are all staring back at him with wide eyes. "sorry you had to see that." he mutters before skulking back into his room. 

jisung gives them a sheepish smile, tells them to help themselves to snacks awkwardly and walks off to find jeno. 

he figures jaemin needs some time alone. 

renjun and chenle have somewhat calmed jeno down when the youngest reaches his room. jeno is sitting on his bed still looking slightly mad while renjun leans against a wall and chenle sits on the floor at jeno’s feet. the older rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, "sorry 'sung, i didn't mean to bring you into it." 

jisung shrugged, "it's fine. i don't see why you brought it up to be honest, but it's fine." he waits a second, hesitant to speak, before sitting beside jeno on his bed. "...so what was that anyway?" 

"i really don't know," jeno admits, "it's been pissing me off for a while and i just snapped."

"what's been pissing you off?" chenle asks, wrapping an arm around jeno's leg and looking up at him. 

jeno shakes his head. "just… jaemin." he says. the other boys sit in silence, not sure what he means. jeno sighs and elaborates, "like he's been extra moody recently, right? snapping at everybody?"

"well, yeah," renjun says, "but jen, his grandpa like, just died a couple weeks ago."

"yeah. jaemin's grandfather." jeno explains. "did any of you actually think about the fact that jaemin and i have been friends since birth? his family is my family. he's not the only one affected by the loss. i might as well have lost my own grandfather too." 

they sit in silence for a few minutes. 

renjun moves forward and pulls jeno into a hug, "im sorry jeno, we didn't think of it like that."

"It's fine," jeno assures them, "i didn't anyone to really think of it like that except…."

"except jaemin," jisung realises, "that's why you're pissed." 

jeno shrugs. 

"of course he's pissed, i would be too." chenle says, "we've all been getting annoyed with him." 

jisung sighs, "i wouldn't be pissed." 

"of course you wouldn't." renjun sighs.

"no seriously," jisung reasons, "even if i were jeno and not me... i wouldn't be mad."

jeno raises a brow, "and why not?" 

"because it's jaemin," jisung says simply, "and we all know what he's like. he's not the type of guy to be intentionally mean. i know he's not acting himself right now but we all know he doesn't realise he's doing it, right? he's such an emotion based person that when he's stuck in his feelings he can't think of anything else right?" 

chenle looks between renjun and jeno confused, trying to see if they understood what jisung is saying, jeno seems to somewhat get it but renjun looks how chenle feels. jisung notices their looks and sighs. 

"it's like," jisung pauses to think of an example, "when he has a bad day, he only thinks about how terrible his day has been right? whereas usually he's always being kind and asking us about our days, right?"

"right…" chenle is still confused.

"and when he's super happy, he forgets to read the room and doesn't realise someone else isn't feeling great."

renjun chuckles, "yeah he always feels bad about that afterwards…" 

"we get what you mean, jisung, just carry on," jeno sighs, knowing where jisung was going but really not wanting him to be right. 

jisung seems to sense this because he places an arm around jeno and squeezes his arm with an apologetic smile, "well jaemin's so busy focusing on his grief that he's not realising the effect his grandfather's death had on everyone else. but i'm sure if you spoke to him about it he'd understand. in fact, i’m sure he'd understand, and he'd feel terrible. that's why i don't understand why none of you have spoken to him if you have a problem. it's jaemin, if you tell him he's done something to upset you, if anything he'd over correct his actions and be too nice to you for a couple months." 

chenle opens his mouth to speak but jisung cuts him off before he can ask the question jisung knows he's about to ask.

"and before you ask, i haven't said anything to jaemin because i've understood all this from the beginning, and i know in typical jaemin fashion, he'll be back to himself as soon as his grief is over the tough part, and you all know it. i understand completely why you're upset jeno, it makes perfect sense. and if anyone is going to be upset by jaemin's behaviour, you have every right for it to be you. but please, remember that this is jaemin and he is your best friend. and you know that if he wasn't his oblivious self and actually realised he was upsetting you, he would do anything to make it up to you. all you have to do is talk to him properly, not call him an asshole in front of his friends."

jeno clenches his jaw and shrugs jisung's arm off of him. "oh, so now it's my fault?"

"oh not at all," jisung reasons, "jaemin has been an asshole and one hundred percent somebody was going to snap at him. but i'm just saying, in hindsight, maybe calling him an asshole, a mummys boy, and accusing him of stringing me along when you know he's oblivious to my feelings probably wasn't the best way to go…"

jeno sighs and runs his hand through his hair, "i hate it when you're right… when did you get so damn smart?" 

"I've always been smart, you guys just didn't listen to me until i turned eighteen." 

they spoke for a while longer. before jeno dropped a kiss on chenle's forehead, gave jisung a soft hug and thank you, and headed to jaemin's room for a much needed chat. 

(that night when jaemin, as per their usual arrangement, snuck his way into jisung's bed, the younger didn't mention his conversation with jeno, didn’t mention that he was the one that had defended jaemin when everyone else was mad. 

he didn’t want to, and it turned out he didn’t need to. because as soon as jaemin’s arms were wrapped around his body, the elder had buried his head into jisung’s neck and buried a whispered “thank you” into his skin, making jisung shiver. 

jisung smiles. he lets his hand tangle into jaemin’s hair like he usually does, but this time he presses a kiss to the top of the older’s head. “don't mention it, hyung.” 

so jaemin doesn’t mention it either. and nobody else certainly mentions it when they realise jaemin’s been decidedly nicer from then on, especially to jeno. jisung, jeno realised, was most certainly right. jaemin just needed to be made aware of how he was acting by his best friend. in the nicest way possible, too, because jaemin was a big baby sometimes.)

5\. He always finds a reason to tell you he loves you. (and definitely not as a friend.)

(one day, chenle and jisung are chilling out together, a typical day for the two best friends, when chenle turns to jisung and asks, "why don't you just tell him you love him?" 

jisung doesn't need to ask who he means. he just shrugs, "i mean i tell him everyday, he just doesn't take me seriously."

chenle blinks for a second, thinks about it, and realises jisung's telling the truth)

it's the times when jaemin's curled into his chest as the morning light begins to peek through the curtains. both boys are awake, but neither move to get out if bed. the conversation goes the same every time:

jaemin is always the first to break the silence of the morning, "morning jisungie." 

"morning hyung," jisung greets back as jaemin lifts his head so he can rest his chin on jisung's chest and look up at him. jisung adjusts his position to accommodate him. 

"when's your first class?" 

"twelve." 

jaemin twists his neck to check the time, then sighs, dropping his head back down onto jisung's chest. "good we still have an hour to cuddle." 

jisung grins, "who says i want to cuddle with you?"

"don't be rude," jaemin complains, "you know you love cuddling me." 

jisung chuckles, "no hyung, i just love you," 

and jaemin smiles and says, "love you too." but the difference is that jisung actually means it and jaemin's just being cute. 

it's the times when jisung comes home to jaemin in his apartment cooking enough ramen and side dishes for both of them to eat. 

jisung doesnt even notice mark and haechan cuddled on the couch watching a movie, (though if he had, he would have asked them why the fuck they're not cuddling in their own apartment.) just goes straight to the blue haired boy stood over the stove with slight bed hair, glasses perched on his nose and a baggy jumper covering his thin frame and giving him giant sweater paws. 

he looks so impossibly cute, jisung has to bite his lip to stop from squealing. 

"hey hyung," he says softly and jaemin looks up with a wide, shining smile and sparkling eyes. 

"jisungie! i'm making some dinner for you, it'll be ready soon!" he looks so damn proud of himself he looks adorable and jisung curses inwardly because, damn, he's so in love with this man. 

he moves forward to stand next to jaemin with a soft smile, looking over the ramen that, yes, is almost ready. "smells good, can't wait to eat it. i haven't eaten all day." 

"what do you mean you haven't eaten all day?!" jaemin scolds, pinching jisung's cheek playfully and tutting, "you need to eat three meals a day, sungie, it's important." 

jisung manages to look sheepish, "sorry hyung, i'll try to be better." 

jaemin tuts again, "what am i going to do with you?" 

"nothing?" jisung says hopefully and jaemin just shakes his head and continues to prepare dinner. 

jisung takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around jaemin's torso and playfully rest his chin on his shoulder. it's a rare sight, since jisung usually doesn't initiate skinship with anyone, even jaemin. "love you, nana." 

jaemin just hums softly with a small smile as haechan pretends to throw up from where he and mark had been watching the exchange from the couch. 

it's the time jaemin comes home with the biggest smile on his face and goes straight to where he knows jisung is: taeyong, ten and doyoung’s apartment, helping them set up their new entertainment system.

"JISUNGIE," he yells cutely, in a way of announcing himself to the room. he makes the others jump, doyoung hitting his head on the shelf he was sitting under. jaemin regards him with an apologetic smile before turning back to the youngest with a wider smile. "jisungie, i got you a present."

jisung frowns, "a present? why?" 

"just because." jaemin waves him off and grabs his hand. he pulls them both over to the couch and doesn't let go of his hand even when they're both sitting. "ready?"

jisung nods softly, not sure whether he actually was ready or not. the three older boys had gathered around them too, somewhat intruding on the moment. 

"you didn't get us gifts, jaemin?" doyoung teases softly, the smile on his face fading when jaemin turns to him with a confused expression. 

"why would i get you guys gifts?"

taeyong raises an eyebrow and questions back, "why would you get jisung one?" 

"because he's jisung." jaemin says, as if he had just answered all of life's unanswerable questions with that one sentence. 

jisung holds back a laugh when he sees the three oldest looking at jaemin in disbelief. "unbelievable," ten whines, "he's still oblivious even when he's buying the kid presents." 

"oblivious to what?" jaemin asks and jisung responds before any of the elders could expose him further. 

"nothing, nana, what's the present?" he says sharply and the trio take the hint and busy themselves with getting back to the entertainment system.

jaemin smiles again, and jisung tries not to think about how his smile is the prettiest thing he's ever seen. "you'll like it," he states as he rifles through the bag he'd brought in with him. "close your eyes!" he demands and jisung is all too quick to comply. 

with his eyes closed, jisung feels jaemin guide his hand so he's holding out an open palm. he feels a large object get placed in his hands and resists the urge to feel it to see if he can guess what it is. 

"it's not much, really," jaemin explains, "just something small." 

jisung opens his eyes (once jaemin informs him it's okay to do so, of course) and looks into his palm to see a shoebox in his hands. he must've made a confused sound, because jaemin gestures for him to open the box. 

"your pair are getting quite old, i thought it was about time you got new ones. they were kinda hard to find..." 

jisung slowly opens the box to see a new pair of his old, worn dance sneakers. he'd been holding off on buying a new pair, because he hadn't found the style he likes. 

"they aren't the exact same as your old pair, but i managed to find a pair that was eerily similar." jaemin rubs the back of his neck nervously when jisung still has yet to speak, "do you… like them?" 

jisung nods, moving the box aside so he can pull him into a grateful hug, "they're perfect, nana, thank you so much, i love you!" 

"well isn't that sweet." doyoung snorts in the background, and jisung can hear the loud slap taeyong lands on the back of his head for ruining the moment. 

it's the times when jaemin insists that jisung be the subject of yet another photography project because, "jisungie, at this point you're my muse, i can't just pick a new muse! artistry doesn't work like that." 

jisung simply sighs, lets jaemin lead him to whatever new place he's got for a photography shoot and position him for the photos. 

this time he's lying on the ground in a field, jaemin's surrounded him with all types of flowers and asked him to tilt his chin to the side and bend his legs so it looks like he's fallen into a pool of the colourful flowers that now surround him. 

"The power of editing, jisungie," jaemin had explained earlier, "i can make the flowers look however i want later, even make them look like they're rippling, like actual water." 

jisung sighs, as he usually does in these shoots, as jaemin takes what must be the 50th shot of this same picture, now perched on a small step ladder to get the shot from above, carefully placed so he doesn't affect the lighting with any sort of cast shadow. 

"you know," jisung complains, "you're lucky i love you hyung, or i would've made you stop after one shot." 

jaemin just laughs and takes another picture.

it's the time that jaemin scolds "jisung have you even eaten yet?" when he sees jisung slumped over his kitchen table, textbooks sprawled across the surface. 

jisung lets out a soft whine, "cant talk, have to finish this." he grinds out, as if he's in pain. jaemin rolls his eyes because the kid is obviously being dramatic. 

"jisung. you can't just not eat, even if you have finals coming up!" 

"i will eat, i just need to get this chapter," jisung reasoned, gesturing vaguely at the textbook closest to him. 

jaemin sighs and shakes his head. "fine. finish that chapter, you have until i finish cooking you some pork belly and then your eating, even if i have to feed you it." he says it in his usual scolding tone that comes when he thinks jisung's doing something stupid. 

jisung just carries on reading, letting out a teasing, "yes, mom." that earns him a slap to the back of the head. 

this is the thirteenth day in a row that jaemin's had to do this for jisung. the younger is decidedly terrible at time management and, unlike jaemin, hadn't had a study plan set since the school year started that he actually stuck to. hence why jisung is now panic cramming while jaemin has been ready for weeks and was fairly relaxed. 

and thus, hours later, stomach full of his thirteenth dinner in a row prepared by jaemin, jisung sits with text books scattered around him and jaemin beside him helping him go through possible questions. 

he's getting tired, panic finally wearing off now that he feels prepared for his last final exam of the year

and finally, it's the time that jisung makes his way into jaemin's room after a long night out with his creative writing class. 

he slips under the covers, and wraps his arms around jaemin's sleeping form, pressing a kiss to his forehead. jaemin lets out some incoherent mumbles at the touch that jisung assumes is just coming from the older dreaming. 

"goodnight, nana," he says softly, as he does most nights jaemin falls asleep before him, "i hope you know that i really do love you hyung." he admits, finally, "it's been a long time. probably since i met you. that's like… four years?" jisung lets out a surprised sound, "i didn't realise it had been that long. i was… fifteen? you were almost seventeen. do you remember? i tripped over in the hallway at school and you stopped to help me pick up my books."

he lets out a small laugh but stops when he feels jaemin move slightly in his sleep.

"actually, i think i fell in love properly that time you first invited me to have lunch at your table. i had been so shy but you looked at me and you had this sparkle in your eyes that just… well it made me melt. and you were so nice too. you're too nice, sometimes, it's not good for my sanity. it would've been so much easier not to fall for you if you had been some asshole with a pretty face, but no, you had to have a beautiful soul too."

jisung sighs and pulls jaemin closer, he's slowly letting himself fall into slumber, still mumbling to jaemin softly. 

"it's been so long and i really wish i could tell you, but you never take me seriously when i tell you i love you. you beautiful oblivious idiot." he breathes out a final laugh then sighs out, "that's all i have to say, i just love you a lot… goodnight, jaemin." 

(and if jisung had been slightly more awake, slightly less fixated on telling jaemin how he feels, he might have noticed jaemin's breathing wasn't even. no, the older wasn't even asleep, and had just found out something that changed the way he saw the younger forever.)


	2. Chapter 2

**(+1.) You might just find that you love him too.**

jaemin sighs for the fiftieth time since he'd shown up in donghyuck's apartment. 

he's perched in the armchair in the corner of the room. not sat down. no, he's kind of half squatting in the middle of the seat, elbows on his knees and hands knitted painfully into his hair. 

it's definitely not comfortable, but jaemin can't be bothered to move. and he hasn't moved since he burst into donghyuck's apartment and woke up all of the inhabitants twenty minutes ago at six in the morning. 

he also hadn't actually spoken yet either.

donghyuck, mark, johnny and taeyong, who had crashed in johnny's room for the night, were all squeezed onto the sofa staring at jaemin slowly losing his mind. 

see, jaemin would usually go to jeno about this, but things were still a bit awkward after their argument and conversation the week before and that meant that he had to go to the next best option. 

(actually the next best option was renjun, but jaemin was pretty sure he was still mad at him too, and chenle being attached to jeno's hip meant he was out of question too… so really donghyuck was his fourth best option, and the other three were just bonuses.)

"uh… jaemin?" johnny finally speaks after jaemin pulls at his hair for the twelth time. "you gonna tell us what's up, buddy?" 

jaemin looks up for the first time since they'd come out of their rooms, and it's at this point that they realise he'd been crying. 

"i'm freaking out." jaemin announces as he hops up onto the back of the couch, planting his feet onto the seat. "it's like this. you ever just… hear something you weren't meant to hear and you start hearing it and you think 'fuck i'm not meant to hear this,' but you're in an awkward position so you cant not listen?" 

"yeah, all the time," mark says slowly, "just last week, i heard donghyuck talking about what he's getting for my birthday but i was hiding in the closet because i wasn't supposed to be home so i couldn't just walk away."

donghyuck blinks, fixes mark with a glare that clearly says 'we'll talk later' but doesn't say anything.

jaemin, however, nods and points at mark in an odd sort of excitement, "yes, exactly like that. last night i heard something insane." he's off of the chair now and pacing the room instead with a crazed look in his eyes, "and it's making me completely look at the last few years of my life completely differently and i don't know how to feel about it, or if i have to feel anything about it. and a lot of things i haven't understood for the longest time suddenly make sense and i don't like it."

mark rubs the back of his neck, "that's a lot to unpack without having a clue what you're talking about." 

"right," taeyong agrees, grabbing jaemin's arm on his way past and pulling him to sit on his lap, holding him in place. "jaemin, you're going to have to explain this properly if you want us to-"

he doesn't have to say anymore because jaemin blurts out:

"jisung said he loves me while he thought i was asleep and i didn't know what to do so i just pretended i was asleep and then laid there until now and just ran the fuck out of there." 

there's a beat of silence and then:

"fucking finally," donghyuck complains, "we've been waiting for you to find out for years!" 

jaemin splutters, "y-you knew?!"

"of course we knew!" donghyuck cries, "he's so obvious about it!" 

"he is?" 

donghyuck lets out a loud, long suffering sigh. "jaemin, and i say this with all the love in the world, you have to be the most oblivious person in the universe. jisung literally looks at you like you single handedly achieved world peace." 

"i wouldn't say-"

"no he's right," johnny interrupts, before jaemin could try to deny it. "he looks kinda like this." he pulled a face that, if jaemin were honest, looked strange on the olders face. he held his mouth open and tried to make his eyes look soft and sparkly. 

jaemin groans, "please say he doesn't…" 

nobody says anything.

jaemin groans again. 

"what's so bad if he does look at you like that?" mark asks softly, "he really cares about you jaem…" 

"it's not bad…" jaemin says quietly, "i just… don't know how i feel about it."

"what?" donghyuck asks suddenly, "are you an idiot? of course you like him back!" 

taeyong hits donghyuck round the back of the head, "don't say it like that!" 

"i dont know how i feel because i've just never thought of it before." jaemin says softly. "i've never really thought that way about anyone so it's… weird… to think somebody thinks that way about me." 

donghyuck laughs a little bit, "i guess that makes sense, but jaem… i have to tell you i think almost everyone has thought that way about you at some point. hell, i had a huge crush on you when we first met!" 

mark chokes on air as jaemin stares at donghyuck for a moment, "what?" he asks in genuine shock, "what do you mean everyo- god that's just not true." 

"look believe it or not, it doesnt change the fact that jisung does like you," donghyuck says, "and you need to figure out how you feel about it." 

"not necessarily," taeyong says, "i think he just has to decide how he feels about jisung, when he knows that the rest will fall in place. so… honey... do you like him too?" 

the four boys stare at jaemin for a few moments as he tries to process his feelings. 

he gulps, "i'm gonna need help," he says quietly, "from everyone." 

  
when jisung wakes up at eight o'clock, he's 1) blissfully unaware of the day he's about to have and 2) disappointed to not wake up with jaemin in his arms. 

it was strange, he noted, as jaemin was widely known as a late sleeper, and jisung knew that jaemin didn't have any classes on a thursday, neither of them did, so there was no reason for the older not to be cuddling him right now. 

a disappointing start to the day. 

he stretches softly and pats the place jaemin should have been sadly before pulling himself out of bed and gets dressed into the first clothes he can see. he sighs before he moves out towards the kitchen, feeling a little moody without jaemin there acting cute like he usually is in the morning. 

as he leaves his room he notices that something is off, he's not sure why but today feels different. and the first difference is he wakes up and enters the kitchen to find chenle already awake making himself a tea. 

"morning?" jisung can hear the confusion in his own voice and winces but chenle barely takes notice. the older boy just turns to him and grins, handing him a brown paper package and a hot chocolate in a "to go" cup. 

"oh good, you're up!" he says, as if it's not weird he's handing him these things, "someone left these here for you." chenle winks as he says it, before moving away to grab his own tea, "and buy the way jeno wants to take you somewhere for the morning, something about spending time with his boyfriend's best friend, i don't know…"

jisung isn't even listening, he's just staring at the bag that looks suspiciously like it holds the pastries he usually buys jaemin. "who…?" 

"i don't know," chenle insists, though there's a laugh present in his voice that tells jisung he's definitely lying, "it was here when i woke up." 

"then how do you know it's not yours?" 

"look in the bag," chenle says simply before walking off to his room and leaving jisung to his thoughts. 

hesitantly, jisung opens the package to see, yes, it was filled with the pastries he bought jaemin daily, but there was also a small note. 

the handwriting looked suspiciously like jaemin's. 

sungie,

i hope these pastries brighten the morning for you the way they usually brighten mine.

j x

yep, thats jaemin. but why is he… jisung pouts. "chenle! did someone tell jaemin i send him treats every morning!"

silence. 

and then. 

"you're fucking idiot, jisung." 

jisung shakes his head. "rude." he mutters under his breath as he begins to sip his hot chocolate.

he really shouldn't be surprised when jeno bursts into the room two seconds later, disturbing probably the only moment of peace jisung was going to get for the rest of the day.

"jisung, aren't you finished yet?" jeno sighs, sounding as if jisung just told him he hates puppies. 

jisung raises his eyebrows, "i only just woke up?" 

jeno tuts. 

"chenle told you i wanted to hang with you today right?" 

"unfortunately." 

jeno tuts. again. 

"carry on and i won't take you out." 

jisung blinks, "i- i didn't ask you to take me out?" 

jeno throws his hands up in the air overdramatically, "alright, you've twisted my arm, we'll go out." 

jisung tries to deny the offer, but jeno grabs his arm in one hand and the pastries in the other, dragging the youngest out of the building. 

jisung barely managed to bring his hot chocolate with him. 

  
chenle closes his door as he watches jeno pull jisung out of the door and turns to the eighteen other boys hiding in his room. 

"okay, they're gone." 

jaemin grins at all his friends. "okay guys, you know what to do."

"are you sure about this, jaem?" hendery asks from where he's lounged across yangyang and lucas' laps. 

jaemin's eyes sparkle as he replies, "never been more sure of anything in my life." 

jisung suppresses another complaint as jeno pulls him into another clothing store. it's the fifth one they've gone in that morning. and jisung… jisung is tired. 

jeno shakes his head as jisung tries in vain to escape his strong grasp on his hand. "no jisungie, we're not leaving until we've picked you a new outfit." 

"why does it matter?" jisung moans, rolling his eyes as he tilts his head to the ceiling in a silent prayer that someone, anyone, comes and saves him from this nightmare. 

jeno chuckles, "trust me, later you'll thank me for making sure you look good." 

jisung just blinks.

"now, let me see you in this," he holds up a leather jacket that jisung is reluctant to admit looks pretty good. 

there's a sigh and then, "ugh, fine hyung, pass me those jeans as well." 

and soon enough, jisung has a new outfit picked out, a simple black button up shirt tucked into the front of some grey skinny jeans, paired up well with the timberlands jisung always wears. 

it's a simple outfit, but it makes jisung look great. (so jeno says, anyway, but jisung thinks he kind of has to say that, as his friend.)

they have a small scuffle when jisung tries to pay for the clothes but jeno shoves him out of the way insisting on paying with a different card. 

"that's not even your card..." jisung says slowly, "hyung, who's paying for this trip?"

jeno just places a slip of paper in his hands and shoos him away as he pays for his own clothes with a soft smile. 

jisung unfolds the paper, holding in a gasp when he sees the same handwriting as earlier. 

sungie,

have i ever told you your sense of style is one of my favourite things about you? i don't know how you manage to look both cool and adorable at the same time

j x

"jeno?" jisung asks hesitantly, "what is jaemin up to?" 

jeno looks up as he picks up their shopping bags. "i don't know what you're talking about, sungie, now let's go have some lunch before we get you changed, hm?"

jisung's too nervous to say no, just follows his older friend dutifully with a nervous pit in his stomach.

by the time jisung gets back to the apartment building, he's absolutely positive that jaemin is up to something and jisung really really can't figure out exactly why. 

there is literally no reason for jaemin to be doing anything for him. 

jeno grips the youngest's hand as they walk into the apartment complex and gives him an almost shy eye smile. "come back to my apartment for a minute sungie?" he asks, although jisung knows it isn't a question. jeno's gripping his hand so tightly, he's actually sure it's to make sure he can't escape. 

jisung nods anyway, lets the older guide him to the apartment as if he doesn't spend half of his day on their sofa. 

he's led into the apartment and jeno pushes him to walk in ahead of him with a knowing smile. jisung unknowingly holds his breath as he wonders what jaemin has been planning. 

when they walk in, the room looks completely normal except for three things. 

one, renjun and lucas were cuddling in the middle of the sofa. unusual because, although they all knew the two were an "item", they really didn't like showing it. renjun was quite shy when it came to his relationship with lucas, so it was a surprise to see him so casually tucked into lucas' side as they watched tv, not even blinking when jisung walked in the door. 

two, there's vases of flowers. everywhere. on every surface in the apartment there were at least three arrangements. it was… a lot to take in. and definitely jaemin doing so jisung opted to just accept that they were probably there for a reason (and he tried not to hope the reason was him.)

and three, there was a giant stuffed bear in the corner of the room. like, huge.

he stares at it for a moment before shaking his head and turning to jeno. the older boy in question just shrugs with a knowing smirk on his face. the older has already gravitated towards his boyfriend, who is grinning from where he stands in the kitchen area eating some kind of snack jisung can't see.

"jisung." renjun says, not even bothering to look up from where his head is buried in lucas' neck, muffling his words slightly. "c'mere, need to talk to you." 

lucas chuckles and maneuvers the two of them to make room for jisung to perch on the end of the sofa, near their feet.

"yes?" jisung asks once he's comfy.  
enough.

renjun looks up enough to see jisung and smiles, "do you know why the three of us being in this position is funny?" jisung shakes his head, "because usually this is you and jaemin and im stuck at your feet watching you got all cosy and gooey eyed at each other." he stretches a little bit, lets his toes touch jisung in the side just enough that the younger flinches away. "feels good to get revenge." 

lucas chuckles but continues whatever speech they had clearly rehearsed. "you and jaem have always been like this, it's kinda cute." the oldest grins, squeezing renjun into his side. "like, you know, you're kinda all… not into it, but you'll do it whenever jaemin needs it and i think that's so - dude, it's awesome of you."

renjun rolls his eyes, but he's smiling softly. "i don't think i've ever seen someone so willing to put up with anyone the way you put up with jaemin's clingy ass. but it's cute i guess. seeing you two together… it kinda made me a lot more comfortable with being like this with yukhei. i wouldn't let him near me to cuddle before." beside him lucas lets out a long suffering sigh which is countered by a playful hit to the stomach.

jisung grins at the two of them. it's nice, he decides, seeing them together like this. 

"what i'm trying to say," renjun laughs, "is being affectionate isn't essential in a relationship, but knowing each other's boundaries and knowing when the other needs a good cuddle or when they need to be left alone is so so important. and somehow you and jaemin got that from day one, when jaemin knew when to keep his distance during your moody teenage years and when you knew exactly when to let jaemin cling to you and when you could complain."

"it's crazy!" lucas comments enthusiastically, "i dont really hang around you two as much as some of the others, so you didn't believe renjun when he talked about it. but i've seen it with my own two eyes, you're, like, meant for each other. i'm sure of it."

jisung blushes and opens his mouth to counter the argument but is met with another poke in his side from renjun's foot. 

"nope, you're soulmates." the boy insists, "now, can you take that bear out of the apartment please." 

"why would i-"

"it's yours." lucas answers before he can even ask the question. 

jisung stares at the bear for a long few minutes. doesn't even realise it's been that long until:

"here." jisung blinks, turns back to the boys. renjun's sitting up now and holding out another folded piece of paper. holding out another note. "read it." 

slowly, jisung stands. he makes his way to the bear with the note in hand, partly because his face is now hidden from the others as he reads it.

sungie,

i love that you always let me come to you for cuddles, even if you're not in the mood. (i know secretly you kinda love it, do here's a bear to cuddle if i'm ever not there to give you them

love,

j x

jisung tried not to let his heart skip a beat when he read the note had been signed "love j". it was probably a slip of hand, he hadn't meant to put love.

"maybe you should go find jaemin," renjun says, being too obvious that he's trying to set up whatever the next part of the surprise is. 

lucas nods even more obviously, "oh! yes! i saw him going to my apartment when i left to come here, that's probably where you should look." the boy winks for good measure and jisung laughs nervously. 

he moves away from the bear and looks at jeno who simply sighs and moves to take the bear for him. chenle, wraps an arm around jisungs waist and leads him to the door with jeno following dutifully behind with the bear.

slowly, renjun and lucas get up too and the five of them move to lucas' apartment in a comfortable silence. 

well, mostly comfortable, jisung kinda felt like he was gonna throw up. 

before they can even step foot inside lucas' apartment, jisung can hear the soft plucking of piano keys coming from the apartment and the soft strum of an acoustic guitar. 

jisung grimaces in nervousness as he realises the sound is jaemin's favourite song to play when he and jisung study together. 

the apartment itself is… well it's pink. it's not decorated or anything, just pink. everything has a pink hue to it and it's not until jisung looks up by chance that he realises someone's put pink fabric over the lights in the room to give this effect. 

in the corner of the room, at his piano, sit kun softly playing the tune jisung heard coming in. on the floor beside him sits xiaojun, his guitar in his lap as he strums away to accompany kun. 

jisung clears his throat after a few minutes, realising suddenly he was the only one of the group to move into the room. 

the two boys stop playing and turn towards the noise with almost identical grins, so much so that jisung probably would have made fun of it if he wasn't so nervous.

"ah, sungie," kun says as he stands up and heads for the younger boy. jisung leans into the hug the older boy offers, resting his head on his shoulder. 

xiaojun comes up just after kun and wraps himself around the two of them to make an awkward group hug. 

as they separate, kun begins to talk. "y'know i always knew this would happen one day."

"knew what would happen?" jisung asks, but kun ignores him. 

"you two are made for each other. i'll never forget the look on jaemin's face the day you gave him that camera he wanted."

jisung tries to play it cool, although they all know he'll fail. "i mean, it wasn't a big deal…"

"sungie, you took a whole train ride to get him that thing."

jisung shrugs, embarrassed. 

"it's not a bad thing," xiaojun insists, "it's really sweet, jisung."

"yeah, especially when you were so excited to give it to him you didn't even realise we were there." kun winks at jisung, who's now got a pretty heavy blush gracing his cheeks. 

kun coos at him and pinches his cheek making jisung whine. 

xiaojun smiles at the two of them from a little way away and starts to speak, "but really, the sweetest thing about that moment was how happy you were to encourage jaemin in his interests. you knew he was really passionate about photography and went to the greatest length you could go to make him happy." 

kun wraps his arms around jisung as he tries to hide himself, embarrassed at being called out for what he does for jaemin. "sungie! we said it's a good thing!" 

xiaojun tugs at jisungs hand, pulling him around to face a stack of books on the table. jisung inspects them from afar wearily. "what are they?" he asks. 

"presents." comes the answer from kun, who places another slip of paper into his hands with a smile. 

jisung reads the paper quicker than he would care to admit. 

dearest sungie! 

thank you for always encouraging me to pursue my passions and helping me achieve my dreams. i want to do the same for you… unfortunately there was only so much i could do in a day so here are some of my favourite books that i hope you take inspiration from. 

love,

j x

jisung stared at the note for a few seconds before swiftly moving to kneel in front of the books. he brushed his hand over the spines of the books as he read the names. Dracula, A Clockwork Orange, Pet Sematary. a lot of gothic novels, a fact that very much surprised jisung. jaemin didn't seem like the type to like those kinds of books. 

he could feel xiaojun and kun's eyes on him as he continued to look at the ten or so books that were in the stack. 

"you want to go find him, jisung?" xiaojun asks and jisung gives a small nod. 

"come on then," kun says as xiaojun picks up the books from the table, most likely to dutifully follow jisung with them like jeno had done with the bear. "i know the best place to look." 

kun leads jisung through the halls of the building and into ten, taeyong and doyoung's apartment. behind them followed xiaojun with the books, renjun, lucas, chenle and jeno. once again, all the boys stayed outside the apartment as jisung went in.

as he stepped in he realised a song was playing on the entertainment system he had helped them set up not long ago. moving further into the room revealed taeyong and ten goofing and dancing around the apartment as doyoung appeared to be acting as some kind of awful dj, changing the song every ten seconds or so. 

(that may be an exaggeration).

shake it off by taylor swift was playing when they finally spotted jisung. 

"jisung!" ten exclaims with a laugh, "come. dance with us!" 

jisung shakes his head trying to pry himself away from taeyong's clutches as the older tries to get him to dance. "hyungs, what are you doing?" 

"do you remember helping us set this up, jisung?" ten asks, still dancing softly in front of jisung, making the youngest want to laugh so badly. "that was so nice of you."

"ah… your welcome hyung?" jisung says, confused. 

taeyong nods helpfully, "yes, yes, it was so nice of you." 

"would've been nicer," doyoung says as he pauses the music, if you actually finished helping us with it too…" 

"what do you mean i didn't help you finish setting it up? i was right here!" jisung counters, looking between the older boys who simply smiled at him. 

"really jisung?" doyoung asks, "did you really?"

jisung thinks for a moment, then realises what they mean. "jaemin gave me the shoes…" 

"you spent the next 3 hours staring between the shoes and jaemin with a huge smile on your face." taeyong confirms for him helpfully. 

ten continues, "we might as well have not existed to you." 

"was kinda cute to be honest." doyoung admits, "it is kinda cute, you know, the way you look at him."

"everything you do for him is cute." confirms ten, as taeyong steps forward to bring jisung into a hug.

"i'll never forget the day he found out his grandfather was going to die. the way you treated him. you showed so much maturity, doing that for him. and they way you looked at each other when i took you to find him at the lake." taeyong brushed a hand through jisung's hair, "you looked at him with so much love in your eyes, and you really did help him through it. i wasn't sure you'd be able to."

"hyung…" 

"jaeminnie is always too in his head," taeyong continues over whatever jisung was trying to say., "but you've always been good at keeping him grounded and it really showed on that day. he didn't even look like he properly acknowledged you were there but you sat by him, comforted him and somehow you knew what to say." 

"how did you…" 

"know?" taeyong finishes for jisung, "i had to wait to take you back home, jisung, there wasn't much else to do but watch the two of you talk."

jisung blushes, tries unsuccessfully to pull himself away from the hold taeyong still has on him. "i didn't do anything special…." 

"you did more than you think," ten says, passing jisung a loaf of bread.

upon closer inspection, jisung realises it's the same brand of bread he took to jaemin that day at the lake. to feed the ducks with. he runs his hands over it once before realising there's a note attached to the bottom.

he begins to read it, still wrapped in taeyong's arms. 

my love, sungie

you are the most special person in my life. that's been clear to me ever since that day by the lake. not many can take my mood swings. not many know how to deal with my bad sides along with my good. and you've always been there for me. so thank you, for always being there to hold me when i cry. i hope one day to be as much of a comfort for you if needed.

love always,

j x

jisung hides his face for a moment as he feels himself beginning to shed tears . he composes himself, holding them back with a shaky breath as he leans into taeyong’s hold on him.

"you okay to carry on?" the older asks softly and jisung nods into his chest. taeyong smiles and passes off the loaf of bread to ten who holds onto it with a smile. "come on, then, not long left now." 

"which apartment this time?" jisung asks, and the others smile as they realise jisung is just happy going along with jaemin's antics. 

"hendery, yangyang and winnie's" doyoung says with a smile. 

jisung nods, "let's go then…" 

  
when he walks into the next apartment, the first thing that strikes jisung is how incredibly quiet it is. 

this is usually one of the loudest apartments in the building, with 3 (probably not allowed) pets and some kind of gaming contest between all the boys seemingly always running. but today, the aura was incredibly calm. 

he walks further into the apartment and sees the three boys that live there just chilling on the sofas. it was weird to see. unlike the other apartments, nothing special seemed to be set in the room, no pink lighting, no flowers, no music. just… calm. 

hendery smiles when he sees jisung and pats the place next to him. "hey man, we're just chilling, come join us." 

jisung eyes the spot on the sofa suspiciously, concerned that he is being tricked.

"we don't bite." yangyang jokes, gesturing to the spot again with a smirk. 

jisung sighs, lets himself move to sit next to the grinning boy with a hesitant look. 

“so,” yangyang says, “i’m just gonna cut to the chase. jaem asked us to give you this.” he reaches behind him and pulls out what looks like a small book. 

jisung reaches for it, confusion etched heavily into his brow. “what is it?” he asks, but as he pulls it closer, he can see that it’s some kind of diary. 

“jaemin put all of your ‘important dates’ in it.” winwin explains. “it shows the anniversary of the day you met, the first time you went out for lunch, coffee you get the point.”

jisung flicks through the book with a soft smile. he doesn’t look at the words written in it but focuses on the amount of days filled with little anniversaries between the two boys. he stops on one week in july that seems to be filled with ‘anniversaries’ that are just names filled in in red sharpie. “what are these?” he asks, showing the red lettering to winwin. 

the older shrugs, “they’re arguments.”

“arguments? me and jaemin barely ever argue.” 

hendery shakes his head, “not between you and jaemin. between everyone else and jaemin. your arguments are written in green, i think.”

“why are arguments between jaemin and other people in a book of our anniversaries, then?” 

“because they’re all the times you’ve defended him in an argument.” yangyang explains. “you defend him literally all the time.” 

“literally.” hendery echoes with a smirk. “he could try to argue that jennifer anniston is the best actress in the entire world and you would still wholeheartedly agree with him, even though we all know you hate her acting. “

“I don’t think that's tr-”

“oh it’s true,” winwin interrupts, “we all know it, too.” 

“don’t focus on that, anyway,” hendery says, flipping through the pages so jisung can see some of the other ‘anniversaries’ inside. “look at all of the things he remembers about you.” 

“you better appreciate it too,” yangyang mutters, “we spent the whole morning filling that out for him.” he grunts when winwin slaps him in the arm. “not that we're complaining, of course."

jisung slowly flicks through the pages, reading some of the events jaemin had asked the boys to note down.

the first time we had a sleepover

the day i took you on a rollercoaster and you cried. (im sorry :( )

  
the first time we went for coffee (you made fun of my order!!!)

the day we started our weekly movie nights

the first time you saw me cry

"how did he even remember half of these…" jisung asks nobody in particular. 

hendery answers him though, saying, "well some of them are roughly the date, he hasn't got that great a memory…"

"but he surprisingly knew a lot of dates exactly!" winwin says with a chuckle, "it's kinda cute…" 

"maybe…" yangyang says quietly, and jisung suddenly realises how close the older boy is, leaning into his side to read the notes over his shoulder. "maybe you should check today's date." 

jisung doesn't hesitate to flip the pages quickly across to the current date july 20th. 

there's a heart delicately placed around the date in the book, and between the pages jisung finds another note. he pulls it out softly opening it to see jaemin's familiar scrawl of writing. 

sungie,

this book made me realise just how much i need you in my life. without you, i wouldn't have experienced a lot of the things in these pages for the first time and it makes it so much more special that these first times were with you. i hope this book continues to fill up with our memories in the future, because i can't think of anyone i would rather fill these pages with. 

here's hoping we can fill today's date with something extra special

love,

j x

jisung pouts to himself, at this point just desperately fighting back the urge to cry. jaemin had really put so much thought into whatever it was he was doing today and jisung was really feeling it. 

he felt more appreciated, more loved even, than he had felt in a long time and every second he spent on this goose chase jaemin had him on just made him love him even more than he already did. 

he didn't wait for the boys to say anything this time, just held the book to his chest and began to leave the apartment guessing one of them would lead him to the correct place to go if he did wander in the wrong direction.

he was proved right when hendery gripped onto his elbow softly and moved him to the correct next apartment.

if this were any different day, jisung would probably be laughing, because at this point he had twelve boys following along behind him like ducks as he was passed from apartment to apartment. 

and when he entered the next apartment, the four residents would be joining them shortly. 

  
jaehyun, taeil, yuta and jungwoo's apartment is… weirdly eerie when jisung walks in. the four boys are sat on the sofa waiting in dead silence when jisung steps in, each of his steps highlighted as the silence makes the sound of his shoes echo through the apartment.

"jisung!" taeil greets with a wide smile that jisung immediately reciprocates, "about time you got here!" 

jisung takes in the sight. the fours of them are sat, weirdly still, hands in their laps, staring up at jisung with small smiles. 

jungwoo, jisung notices, is holding a long piece of paper. "what's that, hyung?" he asks in confusion and jungwoo simply smiles wider. 

"wow," he says, "we're just gonna jump straight in to the point, i guess?" the other boys hum in agreement and jisung furrows his brow. 

"what do you mean? what is it?" 

"a list." answers jaehyun, who then nods for jungwoo to continue. 

jungwoo winks at jisung and explains, "i'll read some items of the list, and we'll all continue to do it until you realise what it is, or until we run out of list." 

"whatever comes first," yuta laughs.

jungwoo clears his throat and begins what looks to be a long list. "you're so cute. you like to run your hand through my hair. the way you scrunch your nose. you would do anything for all of your hyungs. the way you help chenle without hesitation, no matter what he asks, because he's your best friend. the way you look like a little mouse sometimes."

jungwoo passes the paper on to taeil who continues. 

"you have to watch a movie all the way through, even if you hate it, because you need to know how it ends. your favourite star wars character is princess leia, because she's a badass. the way you puff out your cheeks when you're frustrated. how you have every single word to every twice song memorised, even if you won't admit it. how content you look while you read a good book. that nervous habit you have of touching your hair." 

jisung gingerly stops his hand from patting his hair as taeil speaks, causing the others to laugh. 

he knows what this list is now. probably knew what it was as soon as jungwoo opened his mouth.

but he's too scared to make a guess. not in case he's wrong. no, at this point he knows in his heart that if jaemin is planning something really special and this list is part of it… there's only one thing it could mean. 

and he doesn't know what to think.

the paper is passed on, then, from taeil to jaehyun, who offers a warm smile before he begins his part. "for all my faults, you've always accepted me. you never get angry (but if you do it's justified). how passionate you get when it comes to dance. your little giggle that comes out when you're shy. your sense of humour. you prefer disney princess movies over toy story, even if you don't admit it. "

the last boy takes the paper. yuta moves so he's right up close to jisung but doesn't let him see the paper when he cranes his neck to sneak a peek. 

jisung pouts, he just wanted to check on his hunch. just check the title, quickly. 

"you are so curious about everything. you're so loving and warm-hearted. you have the cutest smile. you've never once made me feel small. you pretend not to notice when i try to steal the covers from you during the night. you've always been my number one, even if i didn't realise it before."

the four boys all look at jisung expectantly. he knows that they know he knows what the list says but he doesn't say anything. 

yuta gives a lopsided smile and pushes the list into jisungs hand so he can read it himself. 

and he does. he reads the whole list through again just to make sure they didn't miss anything. and he avoids looking at the title. 

reasons i love you, jisung park.

you're so cute.   
you like to run your hand through my hair.   
the way you scrunch your nose.   
you would do anything for all of your hyungs.   
the way you help chenle without hesitation, no matter what he asks, because he's your best friend.   
the way you look like a little mouse sometimes.  
you have to watch a movie all the way through, even if you hate it, because you need to know how it ends.   
your favourite star wars character is princess leia, because she's a badass.   
the way you puff out your cheeks when you're frustrated.   
how you have every single word to every twice song memorised, even if you won't admit it.   
how content you look while you read a good book.   
that nervous habit you have of touching your hair.  
for all my faults, you've always accepted me. you never get angry (but if you do it's justified).   
how passionate you get when it comes to dance.   
your little giggle that comes out when you're shy.   
your sense of humour.   
you prefer disney princess movies over toy story, even if you don't admit it.  
you are so curious about everything.   
you're so loving and warm-hearted.   
you have the cutest smile.   
you've never once made me feel small.   
you pretend not to notice when i try to steal the covers from you during the night.   
you've always been my number one, even if i didn't realise it before

these are just some of the reasons i love you park jisung. if i had to list every single reason, I'd run out of paper and still have more things to say. 

i'm just sorry it took me this long to realise it

love,

jaemin x

jisung almost cried when he saw that the older boy had signed it with his whole name this time. he was forced to recognise that this is real. this is actually happening. the love of his life, for whatever reason, had finally realised he reciprocated his feelings. 

jisung's going to get his happily ever after. 

  
there were only two apartments left. and since jisung and chenle were already together, jisung didn't need jungwoo to tell him the next destination was most likely donghyuck, johnny and mark's place. 

(he lets jungwoo lead him there anyway, the older looks excited to have such a big role.)

when jisung walks in, it could genuinely be any other day. there was no atmosphere that filled the room like all the other apartments. 

no, instead he walks in to see donghyuck playing games on his xbox, mark lounging on the sofa next to him, his head in the younger's lap. johnny, as per usual, ignores anything 'coupley' the two boys do, opting to edit some music on his laptop instead. 

"hi guys…" jisung says slowly, not sure if he was supposed to come to this place. 

donghyuck pats the spot next to him when he sees jisung out of the corner of his eyes. "jisungie, come sit, you wanna play?"

"no thanks," jisung says, voice most likely betraying the confusion he feels. 

donghyuck pouts and pats the seat again, prompting jisung to sit down. he does so reluctantly, and just stares at the screen. 

they all sit quietly for a while as donghyuck finishes his game and johnny types away on his laptop. jisung really doesn't know what to do with himself so he just watches donghyuck play. 

eventually, mark opens his eyes and fixes jisung with a lazy stare, "how has your morning been, sungie?" he asks, stretching his arms as he speaks. 

"good…" jisung answers distractedly, watching donghyuck's character run across the screen. 

mark lets out a quiet chuckle, "good. want to know what we did?" 

jisung hummed, "what?"

"what did we do this morning… let's see." mark pretends to think then laughs again, "well we talked jaemin down from what seemed like a midlife crisis."

"after he woke us up no less." donghyuck complained, "he cut short our cuddle time." 

mark rolled his eyes, "not important." he flicks donghyuck's hand, throwing off his game for a second. he continues to talk over donghyuck's whine of protest. "he came in shaking like a leaf, sat in that chair over there and stared into space for like an hour."

"that may be an exaggeration," johnny scolded, "but it was still pretty bad." 

jisung digested the information for a moment. "but… what was his midlife crisis over?" 

"you." donghyuck says as he kills off an enemy on screen. he doesn't even spare jisung a look. 

"me?" 

"you." mark says

jisung blinks. 

"me?" 

"yes, you!" johnny says, "he was going crazy over you."

"what about me?!" 

donghyuck shrugs, "you'll have to ask him that, though i think you know."

jisung thinks he does too, but he doesn't acknowledge it out loud. 

"all you need to know," johnny says, "is he then proceeded to ask us all for our help, mid panic, telling us things to do while we really couldn't understand him clearly at all." 

mark continues, "he wanted to get all of this out of his head and ready so quickly but none of knew what the hell he was talking about."

"and do you know why?" johnny asks. 

jisung shakes his head. 

the oldest chuckles. "because of you." 

jisung frowns, "me? why?" his voice comes out abnormally high as he squeals out his surprised words. 

"we'll let him tell you that," donghyuck says as his character shoots across the field he's standing in. "but it was all you."

"and that's why we're all doing this for you today." 

mark nods at johnny's words and sits up, leaning into donghyuck instead as he looks at jisung on his boyfriend's other side. "jaemin had us all set this up for you. he was going crazy all morning, finding his old favourite books, sending kun and ten out to find that monstrous teddy bear, and writing out all those notes." 

"it took him a long time to really figure out what he wanted to say with all this too. he discussed it with all of us before he decided where his head was." johnny says.

mark nods again, reminding jisung of an excited puppy. "yeah, and he did all that talking while you were asleep in your room. the other stuff was a mad rush while jeno distracted you and made sure you look okay."

"speaking of which," donghyuck suddenly turns off the game and disgards the remote haphazardly on the coffee table. "let me look at you," he demands turning to inspect jisung's appearance. he grabs the younger's face in his hands and turns it backwards and forwards so he can look at him from all angles. "you need some foundation on, maybe some gloss." 

"hyung!" jisung whines, "why do i need make up." 

"trust me," donghyuck sasses, "you're gonna want to look pretty when jaemin next sees you. 

and jisung knows donghyuck can't be talked down once he has his mind on something, so jisung doesn't complain, just lets the older spruce up his hair. listens as he asks mark to pass him various make up products and lets him apply them sparingly onto his face.

it's "just enough to highlight your good features." donghyuck assures him. 

and mark continues hastily, "not that you have any bad features," just to make sure his boyfriend doesn't sound too bitch-like. 

and as he gets him ready, donghyuck talks to jisung about their day, johnny and mark interjecting when they want to. 

donghyuck tells him how long it took them to perfectly place the flowers in renjun's apartment, how long it took them to find jaemin's favourite books in the bookshop down the street. he tells him that jaemin rewrote the notes to him at least 10 times each to make sure the were just perfect. 

and when donghyuck's done, the four of them stand. donghyuck tells him there's one more note, and passes it across. 

s,

there's only one thing left to do.

meet me in your apartment.

j x

jisung's out of the room before anyone can stop him. 

  
jisung stands outside his apartment for the longest time. he doesn't know why but he's actually contemplating whether he should actually go inside. 

he's surrounded by all the other boys. none of them say anything, don't push him to go in, they just wait. chenle's closest to him. hand on his arm in comfort as jisung thinks through his choices. 

he knows he has to go in, knows it's literally what he's wanted for years. 

but he's scared. 

it's five minutes before someone says anything and in typical chenle fashion, he doesn't say what jisung expects. "dude i don't mean to rush you but i really need to pee and i can't go into our bathroom until you're done."

the group laughs and donghyuck, ever the voice of reason, speaks up, "are you ready to go in, jisung?" 

jisung sighs, takes a few moments to breathe and nods. 

the others murmur soft words of encouragement, as if jisung is about to go through hell and back, as jisung reaches for the door handle. 

it's all a bit too dramatic for what it actually is, jisung thinks. but it's a very jaemin thing to go over the top for something like this, and involve all their friends. 

jisung smiles at his friends and walks into the apartment, leaving them all outside. 

and in another very jaemin thing to do, jaemins standing in the middle of the apartment with a bouquet of roses. the boy's blue hair has been styled, and he has obviously suffered the same fate as jisung, the unmistakable shine of donghyuck's signature lip tint gracing his lips.

jisung things he looks the most handsome he's ever seen him. 

"for a second i thought you weren't going to come in," jaemin says, and jisung can hear that his voice is shaking with nerves. 

jisung smiles, "i would always come in to you, i just needed to prepare myself." 

jaemin lets out a contented sigh, "i was hoping you'd say that," he says. 

"why's that?" 

"because you mean so much to me, i don't think you realise." 

"i don't?" 

"yeah, you don't." jaemin reiterates, "and i know you don't because i didn't even realise how much you really mean to me. not until this morning." 

"what changed this morning?" 

"i spoke to hyuck and mark and realised that you've always been there for me. you've been my person for a long time, i think, i just didn't want to acknowledge it."

"and why didn't you?" 

jaemin smiles shyly, "i really don't know, because now i know i can't hold it in, i need to tell you."

"then tell me." jisung says, and he's smiling. grinning from ear to ear because he knows. 

jaemin shakes his head though, "i can't, i have so many other things to say first." he passes jisung the flowers, as though he's only just realised they're still in his hands. jisung takes them without hesitation, holding them close to his chest as jaemin himself moves closer. 

"you are...the most wonderful person i've ever met. did you know that? you're just so… perfect to me." he chuckles when he notices jisung's blush, "don't get embarrassed on me, i have too many cheesy things to say." 

jisung groans, the way he usually does when jaemin acts cute, and receives a slap to the shoulder for his trouble.

"okay, seriously though, i owe you an apology." 

jisung frowns, "an apology? why?" 

"you've done so much for me. so much. and i've never even noticed. how many times have you bought me breakfast, only for me to thank somebody else, hmm?" jaemin sighs, "how many times have you let me cuddle into you, even though you, apparently, hate affection? the amount of times you've talked me down from a fight? or held onto me while i cried? you've done all of that and i don't think i've ever been able to return the favour."

"but i didn't do it for you to return the favour." 

"i know you didn't." jaemin smiles, brings a hand up to cup jisung's cheek softly, "but you still deserve so much more. you deserve everything."

"i don't…" 

"you do!" jaemin insists. "you're the kindest, most beautiful person i've ever met. and i mean that in the purest sense of the world. the way you would do anything to help or defend your friends. the way you love so completely. you're beautiful." 

jisung huffs as he feels tears start to form in his eyes. jaemin doesn't really acknowledge them, except for occasionally wiping away a stray tear that falls. 

"i don't understand why, knowing all that about you, it took me overhearing you talk to me last night to realise you've been in love with me this whole time. and i'm sorry. god, sungie, i'm so sorry. i'm sorry i didn't notice."

"it's okay…" 

"it's not. i heard you, sungie. you sounded like it hurt you to love me and i never want you to feel like that about me."

"i've never felt that way." jisung disagrees but jaemin shakes his head because he knows it's not true. 

"i remember the first day we met. you were talking about it last night. i remember seeing this cute, awkward as hell, little kid trip over air and thinking 'god he's too cute for this world.' so i helped you. and the way you smiled at me? all shy? i was enamoured there and then. i wanted to protect you from any harm." 

"hyung…" 

"and when you continued to hang out with us i felt so lucky and relieved. but mostly i felt this, weird amount of pride. especially when you became best friends with chenle. because i gave you that. in a way. obviously you and chenle became friends on your own but i invited you to the table, i introduced you. and then you were so happy and i thought god i never want to see him sad." 

at this point, tears are freely flowing down both their cheeks as jaemin speaks. they're not even bothering to wipe them away. 

"and this whole time it was probably me making you sad, huh?" 

"never, nana." 

jaemin smiles. "it's okay if i did, i understand. and it doesn't matter anymore. because i'm going to spend the rest of my life proving how in love with you i am. because i am sungie i…"

jisung blinked through his tears as jaemin paused for a moment. "yes?" 

"sungie, i'm so in love with you. i’m sorry i didn’t realise until now, but i do." 

and jisung can't wait anymore, he surges forward and kisses jaemin the way he's been waiting to do for the past four years. and he's elated when he feels jaemin kiss him back. they stay like that for a moment, arms wrapped around each other and revelling in the kiss.

and as they pull apart, they vaguely hear donghyuck outside the door say "fucking finally."

they opt to ignore him, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and... it's done. 
> 
> i said to myself this second part was going to be only 3000 words long... it ended up longer than the first part, i'm so sorry i got carried away so it took so much longer to come out hhhh
> 
> as always, feel free to comment and kudos 
> 
> and you can always follow me on twt at the same user @dahyunskook
> 
> thanks for reading this one <3

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been working on this for a while and i got so excited to post I decided to split it into two parts so i could post the 5 ways now.
> 
> This work is dedicated to Gen! This really wouldn't have been written nearly as well without her constant encouragement and hyping me up. Love you Gen! <3
> 
> Side Note:
> 
> If you want to chat about NCT Dream, dm me about my fics or just want to be mutuals you can follow me on my twitter which has the same user as i have on here @dahyunskook. I post about all sorts of kpop groups so don't be afraid to give me a follow!
> 
> I'm also posting a social media NCT Dream AU on there if you wanted to check that out too.
> 
> thanks for reading and look out for pt 2 being updated within the next couple of days.


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